Wow, there I go slacking again! LOL! Seems like forever since I have made a post! But SOOO much has been happening! The boys are FINALLY on a good sleep schedule! They go to bed around 7 and sleep til 8! Can't beat that! I didn't realize how much having a good schedule would make a difference! It's giving me more energy and making it easier for me to get stuff done during the day! It really has been amazing. As bad as it may sound, this deployment has actually been an amazing experience for me. I have learned a lot about myself and my marriage and I think things will be very different, one way or another, after this deployment!
I have stayed strong with my gym days (although I have missed a few..lol) and I am down to under 135! 140 was a pretty big barrier for me for a long time, so its nice to have surpassed that, now I just have to hope it lasts. But more importantly than the number on the scale, I am finally truly happy when I look in the mirror.
One of my greatest experiences recently has been getting to go to the Pro Bowl!!!! It was SOOO much fun! It was the first time I have been to an NFL game and it was tons of fun! I met a lot of great people and just had a good time!
Other than that I have been keeping pretty busy! Have several photo shoots coming up so I am looking forward to diving back in! I got my business license and all that, so it's legit now! I am officially a small business owner! There have been a lot of really good developments in my life and I finally feel like I am getting to a really good place. I am taking life one day at a time now and I am thoroughly enjoying it! I don't know why it has taken me this long to get to this point, but I am happier than I have been in a long time! It's nice to feel like I have taken charge of my own life again! My 2 little miracle babies make each day better than the last and I wouldn't trade them for the world!
Well today is gym day so I better get off here! I am so ready to go get a good workout today then have a nice relaxing Friday evening!
Highlight of the Day: I took the boys to a dr appt with me and we were sitting in the waiting room. My nose was itching like crazy so I just kind of rubbed it with my hand a little bit and Austin shouts "No Mommy! Don't pick your boogers, its ucky!" LOL! Talk about embarrassing! LOL!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
59 Days Down! 133 To Go!
Sorry! I know it has been a long time since I made a post and I always get a lot of people asking me when I am going to write the next one! But so much has happened in the last couple weeks! I am sure at some point in one of my posts I mentioned my friend Jenn. I have known her for as far back as I remember. We lived at Luke until I was 8 years old and Jenn's family and mine attended the same church. Her cousin, Mikah, and I were actually inseparable as kids. Jenn and I were friends too, but she was a year older than me and lets face it, when you are 6 a 5 year old is what a 15 year old is to an 18 or 19 year old! LOL! Our families have kept touch over the years and my parents actually moved back to Luke a few years ago. Anyways, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook, Jenn and I were reunited and I discovered she lives here in Hawaii. I found out that she was on the verge of being engaged to a really good man and life was really coming together for her. I am extremely honored that she actually asked me to do her engagement and wedding photos so I am VERY excited about that! When I first got here we made plans after plans after plans to get together but life always seemed to get in the way. She works two jobs and lives down in Waikiki and it just seems like we could never coordinate a time that worked for us both. But after David left we finally found time to get lunch at Red Lobster. We had a lot of fun talking and catching up and the boys loved her! So a couple weeks later we made plans again!
After lunch we took the kids to Dave and Buster's since it was the middle of the afternoon. For those of you who don't know what Dave and Buster's is, the best way I have heard it described is Chuck E. Cheese for grown-ups! It has a lot of the same games but it also has pool tables and a bar. So we took Austin around and let him play at some of the games, then we played a few rounds of pool! The time came and the boys were getting pretty fussy, so we had to cut it short. But we were already scheming up ways we could go back out and play without the kids! So we made plans to do just that the following week!
We learned that we were both obsessed with Edward and the Twilight series so we decided that Monday she would stay the night with me and we would get some drinks and do a Twilight marathon, then the next day we would go get manicures and pedicures and go back into town to meet Brian, who DID actually propose, so is now her fiance, for some rounds of pool or darts. It turned out that I ended up staying with them Tuesday night. So it was great to have so much time to hang out! That was last week and already we have been planning all this stuff we want to do together, so tomorrow she is taking me surfing for my first time! I have been so excited! We are like little kids waiting for Christmas! We have been writing on each others walls counting down the time til our girls day! LOL! It is really exciting! She has also asked me to go shopping with her and help her pick out bridesmaids dresses, which is a huge honor and help her figure out what to wear for the engagement photos.
It is amazing how quickly our friendship has developed. It is very hard for me to really open up and let people in 100%. I have a lot of trust issues and even with my closest friends I still tend to keep them at arm's length. But it has been different with us. I would say its like we have known each other our whole lives, but we kind of have...lol. But it's like we have been close friends our whole lives. We have even said we felt like we could be sisters. I have not had that many really really close friends, again the major trust issues, but its like there is no walls with her. We can talk about anything and we have been comfortable to do that. She is like my friend soul mate...lol. You know when you meet that right man or woman and all of a sudden you fill like this huge void in your life is suddenly filled? It's exactly like that. We have hung out a total of three times and yetI can't imagine my life without her now! She keeps telling me that I make Hawaii bearable, which I really feel the same way. Sure Hawaii is nice, but I haven't really been enjoying it since David left. When he was here we went out and did things, but since he has been gone I sit at home all the time. And going out with her last week we had so much fun, and now she is about to introduce me to surfing which is something I never actually thought I would try because I am kind of scared...lol. But I am actually really looking forward to it now! So, anyways, I guess the point to all of this is that I am really grateful to have her back in my life!
Anyways, that is a lot of what has filled the last couple weeks. That and still going to the gym as often as I can! I am not seeing the difference as much because I am with myself every day, but I notice the difference with my clothes. I had to go buy a new bathing suit because mine was too big and I have had to go buy some new clothes. Right before David left when we were renewing our vows I went to victoria secret and they had this really cute tank that I liked, and mind you, even after having kids I have never been big. I have been bigger than I am comfortable with because I have always been ridiculously skinny, probably sickly looking before I had kids. I was 5'9 and 120. I am now 140. So I am right dead in the center of my "healthy" weight range for my age and height and all that. Anyways, the tank top was large and it was still extremely tight! Talk about a blow to the ego! Well anyways the other day I was walking by and saw these sweatpants and t-shirt I just HAD to have! They were pink and it was like really comfy pajamas. I dont know if I thought of me first or Jenn because we are both obsessed with pink (don't get me wrong, neither of us are ditzy like we just stepped out of Legally Blonde or anything, but it has been both of our favorite colors since we were kids!). Anyways, so I got us matching sets for our next sleepover, so i am going to surprise her with them tomorrow. But I was astounded when had to get small pants and a small t-shirt! So that DEFINITELY made me feel good! I am really starting to see the difference now when I look in the mirror and it feels good to know that my hard work is paying off! I am really hoping that when David steps off the plane he will be truly amazed with the transformation I am making, not only externally but internally as well. I really feel like I am on an awesome journey right now. And while I miss my husband like crazy, I am not taking a moment of this time for granted. When David gets back I know that we will have to figure out a lot of things as a couple, so I want to make sure I know who I am as an individual so that I know what I really can contribute more to this marriage and what more I need from it in return and what things I am not willing to accept anymore as well. And he has actually been really supportive and it seems very receptive as well! So I am excited to see the path our marriage will take when he gets back. I really do hope and believe it will be a turn for the better!
Well it's almost 3 and Austin is awake again so I am going to try to get him back to sleep so I can get some sleep before my big day! The sooner I get to sleep the sooner I will wake up and it will be time to go!! YAY!!!!
Highlight of the Day: I had a GREAT workout at the gym today and I ran a mile nonstop! Which I haven't done in a while...mostly cuz I hate jogging...lol, but it still felt great!
After lunch we took the kids to Dave and Buster's since it was the middle of the afternoon. For those of you who don't know what Dave and Buster's is, the best way I have heard it described is Chuck E. Cheese for grown-ups! It has a lot of the same games but it also has pool tables and a bar. So we took Austin around and let him play at some of the games, then we played a few rounds of pool! The time came and the boys were getting pretty fussy, so we had to cut it short. But we were already scheming up ways we could go back out and play without the kids! So we made plans to do just that the following week!
We learned that we were both obsessed with Edward and the Twilight series so we decided that Monday she would stay the night with me and we would get some drinks and do a Twilight marathon, then the next day we would go get manicures and pedicures and go back into town to meet Brian, who DID actually propose, so is now her fiance, for some rounds of pool or darts. It turned out that I ended up staying with them Tuesday night. So it was great to have so much time to hang out! That was last week and already we have been planning all this stuff we want to do together, so tomorrow she is taking me surfing for my first time! I have been so excited! We are like little kids waiting for Christmas! We have been writing on each others walls counting down the time til our girls day! LOL! It is really exciting! She has also asked me to go shopping with her and help her pick out bridesmaids dresses, which is a huge honor and help her figure out what to wear for the engagement photos.
It is amazing how quickly our friendship has developed. It is very hard for me to really open up and let people in 100%. I have a lot of trust issues and even with my closest friends I still tend to keep them at arm's length. But it has been different with us. I would say its like we have known each other our whole lives, but we kind of have...lol. But it's like we have been close friends our whole lives. We have even said we felt like we could be sisters. I have not had that many really really close friends, again the major trust issues, but its like there is no walls with her. We can talk about anything and we have been comfortable to do that. She is like my friend soul mate...lol. You know when you meet that right man or woman and all of a sudden you fill like this huge void in your life is suddenly filled? It's exactly like that. We have hung out a total of three times and yetI can't imagine my life without her now! She keeps telling me that I make Hawaii bearable, which I really feel the same way. Sure Hawaii is nice, but I haven't really been enjoying it since David left. When he was here we went out and did things, but since he has been gone I sit at home all the time. And going out with her last week we had so much fun, and now she is about to introduce me to surfing which is something I never actually thought I would try because I am kind of scared...lol. But I am actually really looking forward to it now! So, anyways, I guess the point to all of this is that I am really grateful to have her back in my life!
Anyways, that is a lot of what has filled the last couple weeks. That and still going to the gym as often as I can! I am not seeing the difference as much because I am with myself every day, but I notice the difference with my clothes. I had to go buy a new bathing suit because mine was too big and I have had to go buy some new clothes. Right before David left when we were renewing our vows I went to victoria secret and they had this really cute tank that I liked, and mind you, even after having kids I have never been big. I have been bigger than I am comfortable with because I have always been ridiculously skinny, probably sickly looking before I had kids. I was 5'9 and 120. I am now 140. So I am right dead in the center of my "healthy" weight range for my age and height and all that. Anyways, the tank top was large and it was still extremely tight! Talk about a blow to the ego! Well anyways the other day I was walking by and saw these sweatpants and t-shirt I just HAD to have! They were pink and it was like really comfy pajamas. I dont know if I thought of me first or Jenn because we are both obsessed with pink (don't get me wrong, neither of us are ditzy like we just stepped out of Legally Blonde or anything, but it has been both of our favorite colors since we were kids!). Anyways, so I got us matching sets for our next sleepover, so i am going to surprise her with them tomorrow. But I was astounded when had to get small pants and a small t-shirt! So that DEFINITELY made me feel good! I am really starting to see the difference now when I look in the mirror and it feels good to know that my hard work is paying off! I am really hoping that when David steps off the plane he will be truly amazed with the transformation I am making, not only externally but internally as well. I really feel like I am on an awesome journey right now. And while I miss my husband like crazy, I am not taking a moment of this time for granted. When David gets back I know that we will have to figure out a lot of things as a couple, so I want to make sure I know who I am as an individual so that I know what I really can contribute more to this marriage and what more I need from it in return and what things I am not willing to accept anymore as well. And he has actually been really supportive and it seems very receptive as well! So I am excited to see the path our marriage will take when he gets back. I really do hope and believe it will be a turn for the better!
Well it's almost 3 and Austin is awake again so I am going to try to get him back to sleep so I can get some sleep before my big day! The sooner I get to sleep the sooner I will wake up and it will be time to go!! YAY!!!!
Highlight of the Day: I had a GREAT workout at the gym today and I ran a mile nonstop! Which I haven't done in a while...mostly cuz I hate jogging...lol, but it still felt great!
Monday, January 3, 2011
45 Down! 157 To Go....
Today was a gym day and, man, was I ready for it! With all the holidays I haven't gotten to go as much lately. I only went 2 days last week, so I hadn't been since Wednesday so I was definitely ready today. Naturally, since it was right after the holidays, everyone and their brother was there working off Christmas dinner! LOL! I think PT tests are coming up soon too, so people were probably getting ready for that. So there was a lot of waiting around for machines and stuff. But I got an awesome workout so can't beat that :)
The last couple days have been pretty rough. I am still doing ok with the deployment and all that, and David and I get to talk every day, but I am at that point where I am really starting to feel the loneliness set in. I have been keeping so busy lately, and been so exhausted the rest of the time, that I haven't had much time to think about it. But Austin has been sleeping a little better. Or at least going to bed early and sleeping for a few hours before he wakes up and keeps me awake til 8 or 9 the next morning...lol. Even just that extra 2 hours of sleep before hand is so much help, even if I only get 5 hours of sleep when we go to bed for good. But with that, and the fact that things actually slowed down for us around the holidays, I'm not really going day to day on auto pilot anymore. So it has been a rough few days because I am really starting to feel things instead of going through it mindlessly. Things are starting to pick back up again now that the holidays have passed, so I am hoping that will kind of block the tough stuff out again.
Anyways, I am watching the Bachelor while the kids are playing well, then taking them upstairs for bed! Tomorrow we are going to have lunch with my friend Jenny, so I am looking forward to that :) Then Wednesday is gym day again YAY!!!!!
Highlight of the day: Today is my Dad's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!! I LOVE YOU!
The last couple days have been pretty rough. I am still doing ok with the deployment and all that, and David and I get to talk every day, but I am at that point where I am really starting to feel the loneliness set in. I have been keeping so busy lately, and been so exhausted the rest of the time, that I haven't had much time to think about it. But Austin has been sleeping a little better. Or at least going to bed early and sleeping for a few hours before he wakes up and keeps me awake til 8 or 9 the next morning...lol. Even just that extra 2 hours of sleep before hand is so much help, even if I only get 5 hours of sleep when we go to bed for good. But with that, and the fact that things actually slowed down for us around the holidays, I'm not really going day to day on auto pilot anymore. So it has been a rough few days because I am really starting to feel things instead of going through it mindlessly. Things are starting to pick back up again now that the holidays have passed, so I am hoping that will kind of block the tough stuff out again.
Anyways, I am watching the Bachelor while the kids are playing well, then taking them upstairs for bed! Tomorrow we are going to have lunch with my friend Jenny, so I am looking forward to that :) Then Wednesday is gym day again YAY!!!!!
Highlight of the day: Today is my Dad's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!! I LOVE YOU!
Friday, December 31, 2010
41 Days Down! 151 Days To Go!
Tomorrow will mark a month and a half into this deployment! I can't really say it will quite be the 1/4 mark because there was travel time at the start and will be travel time at the end, but still, this is the longest separation we have gone through aside from when we were first married and stationed at separate bases for nearly a year. David is struggling a little bit. I can see the tiredness and stress etched on his face every night when we do our video conversations. It's even more frustrating for him right now because he got moved and strongly dislikes his roommate, it's raining and his roof is leaking so water is flooding his room, if he wants to get it fixed they have to come in the middle of the day, which is when he sleeps and needs every second he can get, his schedule is being shifted, and now, to make matters worse, finance is refusing to pay his travel voucher. So he is definitely having a rough time right now. It's hard to watch him going through a hard time and not really being able to do much for him. As I have mentioned before, my husband is not an emotional person by any means, so I am not even sure that trying to provide him with emotional support really helps him at all. I'm not saying that as a criticism to him or in a "feel sorry for myself" sort of way, just stating a fact. I think for him the conversations we have are more about him trying to give ME emotional support if anything...lol. I think he would honestly rather use that time sleeping. So it is kind of hard to know what to do. Part of me really wishes I had deployed before we got married. It was something I wanted to do, and maybe then I could have some idea of how to help him or what types of things to do for him or get him or whatever. Even with his packages he has told me he wants the practical stuff that he can use and really isn't concerned with the personal or emotional trinkets of whatever. So, again, it's just hard to know how to help... All I can do is hope that if there was something I can do, he would let me know.
Anyways, tonight I got to go on a "date" with my Bestie :) We went to the movies and saw "How Do You Know". I guess, from what I have heard, it got really bad ratings, but we both LOVED it! It was really funny and super cute! It was a little on the long side. It started at 5:10 and we didn't get out til 7:30, but it was definitely a good movie. There was even one part in the movie where we joked that we almost peed our pants! It was hilarious! It was nice to get out for a relaxing evening without the kids, and we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like, so it was really nice. I can't wait til we get to do it again :)
Not too much else new going on. Just still trying to sort out all of my feelings about this whole deployment. Still alot of mixed feelings going on. There were a lot of mixed feelings about some things before the deployment even started, so in a way, I am still hoping that this deployment can be a positive thing for us in the long run. It's not always easy to see the positives in a not so good situation, and it's even harder to fight the guilt of seeing a deployment as possibly being a good thing, especially since he could be in danger. He has told me about some incidents that have happened since he has been there, so it is kind of scary. I am glad that he tells me though. I am not someone that likes to having things sugar coated to give me peace of mind. If I thought he wasn't telling me the bad things to protect me or keep me from worrying, my mind would go nuts worrying about all the bad possibilities, and what would go on in my mind would probably be worse than reality. So knowing that he will tell me if something bad happens keeps me from leaving it to my imagination, if that makes any sense. So, we realize that him being deployed is not the ideal situation, but we both felt it was the right thing and came at the right time. It was something he really wanted to do, and it gives us both time to reflect on a lot of things. Of course, we would both like the circumstances to be different, but a deployment had to come eventually. So I think we are both doing what we can to make the best of it, although as I mentioned before, he is having a rough time of it right now and it hasn't exactly been easy for me either.
Most of my hardship comes from having 2 toddlers. I love my boys and I would not trade them for the world, but it is very hard to raise two boys alone. Like I said in an earlier post, my heart goes out to all the single mothers out there because I have only been doing it for 2 1/2 months and I feel spread so thin I can't even think sometimes. The crazy thing is that we aren't even really doing anything. We don't go out much, aside from for essential stuff like grocery shopping and dr. appts. So we aren't running around like crazy. I still do my workout 3 times a week, but beyond that we aren't doing so much. So I don't understand how I am so tired and worn out all the time! My house is a disaster area, me energy is nonexistent, and our sleep schedule is still way off kilter. However, there are still the good things happening, too, especially when it comes to me learning how to be myself again. I suspect David is having some of that too. I am hoping the separation will remind us who we were as individuals before we got married and so much changed. I can't help but wonder sometimes, if I was the person I am now when David and I first met if we would be where we are now, and if he was the person he is now back then (I hope that made sense). Marriage has changed us both so much. In many ways it has changed us for the better. We have grown together as a couple and we are way more in sync with eachother than we were at the start. However, we have also become comfortable and don't really try anymore. I guess this is true of a lot of marriages, but I am really hoping that this separation, as hard as it is, will really help us appreciate eachother more and realize that we DO still need to try because our marriage has gotten very rocky at certain points and every time it happens it seems like we care about trying less and less. We aren't on the brink of divorce or anything like that, but I wouldn't say we were at the peak of happiness either. So, when it gets tough and I really start to miss him, I remind myself that the length of this deployment could actually be a big advantage to us. When he went to Korea for a month we missed eachother and it changed things a little, but it really wasn't long enough for us to seriously miss eachother and really get a taste of what our lives would be like without eachother. So in the hard times I am going to try to remind myself that the more we miss eachother now, the more we will cherish eachother.
Anyways, as you have probably learned by now, I tend to get on these trains of thought and ramble forever, so I am going to close before I can find something else to write a book about! LOL! I can't believe there is only 1 more day in 2010! On one hand, so much has changed this year that it's hard to believe that it has only been 1 year since we last celebrated New Year's in California, but at the same time, it seems like this year has just flown by! I guess the boys and I will probably just hang out at home tomorrow, and I am sure we will all be awake to watch the ball drop since this is like the middle of the afternoon for Austin...LOL! In case I don't get a chance to write tomorrow, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! <3
Highlight of the day: Spending some quality time with the Bestest, especially since it was kid free! I love all three of the kids, but it was nice to have some adult time with her! LOL! I love you Nina, thanks for restoring some of my sanity! You are the best :)
Anyways, tonight I got to go on a "date" with my Bestie :) We went to the movies and saw "How Do You Know". I guess, from what I have heard, it got really bad ratings, but we both LOVED it! It was really funny and super cute! It was a little on the long side. It started at 5:10 and we didn't get out til 7:30, but it was definitely a good movie. There was even one part in the movie where we joked that we almost peed our pants! It was hilarious! It was nice to get out for a relaxing evening without the kids, and we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like, so it was really nice. I can't wait til we get to do it again :)
Not too much else new going on. Just still trying to sort out all of my feelings about this whole deployment. Still alot of mixed feelings going on. There were a lot of mixed feelings about some things before the deployment even started, so in a way, I am still hoping that this deployment can be a positive thing for us in the long run. It's not always easy to see the positives in a not so good situation, and it's even harder to fight the guilt of seeing a deployment as possibly being a good thing, especially since he could be in danger. He has told me about some incidents that have happened since he has been there, so it is kind of scary. I am glad that he tells me though. I am not someone that likes to having things sugar coated to give me peace of mind. If I thought he wasn't telling me the bad things to protect me or keep me from worrying, my mind would go nuts worrying about all the bad possibilities, and what would go on in my mind would probably be worse than reality. So knowing that he will tell me if something bad happens keeps me from leaving it to my imagination, if that makes any sense. So, we realize that him being deployed is not the ideal situation, but we both felt it was the right thing and came at the right time. It was something he really wanted to do, and it gives us both time to reflect on a lot of things. Of course, we would both like the circumstances to be different, but a deployment had to come eventually. So I think we are both doing what we can to make the best of it, although as I mentioned before, he is having a rough time of it right now and it hasn't exactly been easy for me either.
Most of my hardship comes from having 2 toddlers. I love my boys and I would not trade them for the world, but it is very hard to raise two boys alone. Like I said in an earlier post, my heart goes out to all the single mothers out there because I have only been doing it for 2 1/2 months and I feel spread so thin I can't even think sometimes. The crazy thing is that we aren't even really doing anything. We don't go out much, aside from for essential stuff like grocery shopping and dr. appts. So we aren't running around like crazy. I still do my workout 3 times a week, but beyond that we aren't doing so much. So I don't understand how I am so tired and worn out all the time! My house is a disaster area, me energy is nonexistent, and our sleep schedule is still way off kilter. However, there are still the good things happening, too, especially when it comes to me learning how to be myself again. I suspect David is having some of that too. I am hoping the separation will remind us who we were as individuals before we got married and so much changed. I can't help but wonder sometimes, if I was the person I am now when David and I first met if we would be where we are now, and if he was the person he is now back then (I hope that made sense). Marriage has changed us both so much. In many ways it has changed us for the better. We have grown together as a couple and we are way more in sync with eachother than we were at the start. However, we have also become comfortable and don't really try anymore. I guess this is true of a lot of marriages, but I am really hoping that this separation, as hard as it is, will really help us appreciate eachother more and realize that we DO still need to try because our marriage has gotten very rocky at certain points and every time it happens it seems like we care about trying less and less. We aren't on the brink of divorce or anything like that, but I wouldn't say we were at the peak of happiness either. So, when it gets tough and I really start to miss him, I remind myself that the length of this deployment could actually be a big advantage to us. When he went to Korea for a month we missed eachother and it changed things a little, but it really wasn't long enough for us to seriously miss eachother and really get a taste of what our lives would be like without eachother. So in the hard times I am going to try to remind myself that the more we miss eachother now, the more we will cherish eachother.
Anyways, as you have probably learned by now, I tend to get on these trains of thought and ramble forever, so I am going to close before I can find something else to write a book about! LOL! I can't believe there is only 1 more day in 2010! On one hand, so much has changed this year that it's hard to believe that it has only been 1 year since we last celebrated New Year's in California, but at the same time, it seems like this year has just flown by! I guess the boys and I will probably just hang out at home tomorrow, and I am sure we will all be awake to watch the ball drop since this is like the middle of the afternoon for Austin...LOL! In case I don't get a chance to write tomorrow, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! <3
Highlight of the day: Spending some quality time with the Bestest, especially since it was kid free! I love all three of the kids, but it was nice to have some adult time with her! LOL! I love you Nina, thanks for restoring some of my sanity! You are the best :)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
1m 1w 4d Down! 153 Days to go!
I was going to change the title to "__ Days Down! ___ Days to go", but it has only been 39 days... that's kind of depressing...lol. It seems like a lot more when I put it in month format...lol. But for the count down 153 days definitely sounds better than months! Anyways, almost a quarter of the way through this deployment, not bad! Hopefully the coming months will go just as quickly! Being in Hawaii for Christmas was definitely a blessing because it did not feel like Christmas at all. So it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I went all out getting stuff for the kids and made it all about them, but it really did feel like just another day to me. We stayed home and on Christmas Eve David got onlline around midnight and the boys opened their presents with him in a video conversation! It was really nice :) All in all I think they had a good Christmas :) They made out like little bandits! LOL! We had some offers to go places for Christmas dinner, but at first we thought David was going to be online so we were just going to stay here and video chat with him, but then the plans changed, so we were going to go, but then both boys started to get sick so we stayed home. I think that was for the best though. Despite the very kind and generous offers, like I said, I did ok because it didn't feel like Christmas. But if we would have gone and spent it with other families and really celebrated it like Christmas that would have made it more real and that would have been hard, so I think it worked out ok for us. But it was so nice to have so many people come forward and make the offer. It's nice to feel that support from people. David's work even called and checked up on us and reminded me that they are there if we need anything. It was really nice.
Other than that, not too much else has been going on. Today was my workout day and that was such a great stress reliever. A friend had a birthday party downtown and I thought about going, but I already have the babysitter several days this week, one of which is for a hot date I have!!! LOL! Me and my bestie are having a date night and going out for dinner and a movie :) It will be great to spend some time with her because we haven't gotten to lately, and this is the first time we will get out without the kids, so it will be nice to go have adult conversation with her instead of prying our kids apart from fighting over some toy or something! LOL!
I also spoiled myself for Christmas! I had been talking in a previous post about feeling so guilty about not being able to really keep the house clean and keeping up with laundry and dishes and all that. So I decided to spoil myself. I scoured craigslist for a while and found someone that does house keeping and she is just looking to make some extra money for a plane ticket home and she is willing to clean my whole house (2 story, 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, close to 2000 sq ft) for $50! There is no way I am going to pay her that little and I will be helping her, too, but most people were charging $150-$300! So this was obviously an AWESOME deal! I am not someone that can sit back and let someone else clean my house, so I will be doing a lot of the work too, but it will just be nice to have the extra set of hands to help me. And for that price, I might start doing it regularly if I find it being a persistent issue throughout the deployment. The housework is one of the things that is bringing me down the worst right now, so just knowing that this time tomorrow my house will be completely clean (aside from what the kids destroy afterwards...lol) is a huge weight off my shoulders!
Anyways, other than that, there is not too much else going on right now. David's birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and I have been waiting on him to decide what he wants. He told me that he wants an egg crate mattress topper thingy for his bed there, so that is what I am going to get him. I feel kind of bad because its not more personal, but right now I want to focus on the practical stuff and what he needs. And he is not really a sentimental person anyways, so those kind of presents don't usually mean as much to him anyways. So at least I know I am getting something he can really use. Then my birthday is exactly 1 week after his, and our anniversary is exactly 1 week after my birthday. So January is a big month for us..lol. But we have decided that we want to do our anniversary gifts in person and we want to have a romantic overnight date for our anniversary, so we are going to celebrate in July. We met on the 4th of July in 2004, so we still consider that an anniversary for us, as well, so we will celebrate our anniversary around that time.
Well, I just got off the video chat with David and I am trying to get Austin to sleep so I am going to get him laid down and I am going to read my book :) I am still totally hooked on the Vampire Academy series! I am about to finish the 5th book and they just keep getting better and better! Only 1 book left after this one which makes me sad :( But there is another book by this author that people have recommended, then I am also hearing about some other good series' that I will have to read :)
Highlight of my Day: Last night when I was changing Austin's diaper, he had a REALLY bad one! Now as a Mom of 2 boys, I have changed some really bad diapers, but this one far surpassed anything I have ever experienced. . .LOL! So I made a disgusted face and said "Oh man Austin, did something die in your butt?" Well, he went to play with Aiden and said "Guess what Aiden! Something died in the butt!" I about died laughing! Well, tonight we were video chatting with David and Austin said it to him! He said "Something died in the butt! And it was really Really REALLY bad!!!" LOL! I don't think I have ever seen David laugh so hard! It made me so happy to see him lighten up and laugh like that! With everything he is dealing with there, any smile from him is a great thing to see. But this was just such pure laughter it was great :) And it was even better because Austin and Aiden were in hysterics too! So I got to see all my boys laughing together :) Definitely the highlight of my day :)
Other than that, not too much else has been going on. Today was my workout day and that was such a great stress reliever. A friend had a birthday party downtown and I thought about going, but I already have the babysitter several days this week, one of which is for a hot date I have!!! LOL! Me and my bestie are having a date night and going out for dinner and a movie :) It will be great to spend some time with her because we haven't gotten to lately, and this is the first time we will get out without the kids, so it will be nice to go have adult conversation with her instead of prying our kids apart from fighting over some toy or something! LOL!
I also spoiled myself for Christmas! I had been talking in a previous post about feeling so guilty about not being able to really keep the house clean and keeping up with laundry and dishes and all that. So I decided to spoil myself. I scoured craigslist for a while and found someone that does house keeping and she is just looking to make some extra money for a plane ticket home and she is willing to clean my whole house (2 story, 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, close to 2000 sq ft) for $50! There is no way I am going to pay her that little and I will be helping her, too, but most people were charging $150-$300! So this was obviously an AWESOME deal! I am not someone that can sit back and let someone else clean my house, so I will be doing a lot of the work too, but it will just be nice to have the extra set of hands to help me. And for that price, I might start doing it regularly if I find it being a persistent issue throughout the deployment. The housework is one of the things that is bringing me down the worst right now, so just knowing that this time tomorrow my house will be completely clean (aside from what the kids destroy afterwards...lol) is a huge weight off my shoulders!
Anyways, other than that, there is not too much else going on right now. David's birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and I have been waiting on him to decide what he wants. He told me that he wants an egg crate mattress topper thingy for his bed there, so that is what I am going to get him. I feel kind of bad because its not more personal, but right now I want to focus on the practical stuff and what he needs. And he is not really a sentimental person anyways, so those kind of presents don't usually mean as much to him anyways. So at least I know I am getting something he can really use. Then my birthday is exactly 1 week after his, and our anniversary is exactly 1 week after my birthday. So January is a big month for us..lol. But we have decided that we want to do our anniversary gifts in person and we want to have a romantic overnight date for our anniversary, so we are going to celebrate in July. We met on the 4th of July in 2004, so we still consider that an anniversary for us, as well, so we will celebrate our anniversary around that time.
Well, I just got off the video chat with David and I am trying to get Austin to sleep so I am going to get him laid down and I am going to read my book :) I am still totally hooked on the Vampire Academy series! I am about to finish the 5th book and they just keep getting better and better! Only 1 book left after this one which makes me sad :( But there is another book by this author that people have recommended, then I am also hearing about some other good series' that I will have to read :)
Highlight of my Day: Last night when I was changing Austin's diaper, he had a REALLY bad one! Now as a Mom of 2 boys, I have changed some really bad diapers, but this one far surpassed anything I have ever experienced. . .LOL! So I made a disgusted face and said "Oh man Austin, did something die in your butt?" Well, he went to play with Aiden and said "Guess what Aiden! Something died in the butt!" I about died laughing! Well, tonight we were video chatting with David and Austin said it to him! He said "Something died in the butt! And it was really Really REALLY bad!!!" LOL! I don't think I have ever seen David laugh so hard! It made me so happy to see him lighten up and laugh like that! With everything he is dealing with there, any smile from him is a great thing to see. But this was just such pure laughter it was great :) And it was even better because Austin and Aiden were in hysterics too! So I got to see all my boys laughing together :) Definitely the highlight of my day :)
Friday, December 24, 2010
1 Month 6 Days Down! 157 Days to Go!
Ok, so I changed the date I am counting down to again! LOL! I am counting down til May 31st. He should be home sooner than that, but I would rather get him home with 5 days left on my countdown calendar than get to day 1 and realize I still have a week to go. Anyways, some people seem to think that the whole countdown thing is just torturing myself, but honestly, I have found it very comforting. Every day that I get through is one day closer to getting my husband home. And it's nice to look at this posts title and realize it wasn't that long ago I was counting days, then it was weeks, and now I am into months! That's awesome to me! David and I are talking less and less, which is hard. We were talking 2-3 times a day, with 1-2 quick conversations and 1 long one, but things have gotten so crazy for him and he is so tired, that now we are down to one conversation a day and it's usually no more than 15-20 minutes. It gets really hard sometimes. I feel myself start to get frustrated that he can't stay awake 5 or 10 more minutes to talk to me, but I have to remind myself, he is not purposely not talking to me; he is tired and he really does need the rest. It's not always easy, but I am proud of myself because I have been able to keep my feelings in check and make sure to always put his needs first. Those of you that know me know that that is very hard for me. Not putting his needs first, of course, that is not hard, but keeping my mouth shut about how I am feeling is. Even though I am not upset with him, I find myself wanting to complain about the fact that we don't talk much. Not to blame him, just to express my feelings about the situation itself. But then I have to remind myself that while he is my best friend and the person I talk to about everything, for this time, I have to be his best friend and not burden him with the silly little things that are bothering me. And all in all, it's really not that bad. I realize how lucky I am for getting to talk to him every day, so honestly, I wouldn't ask for anything more.
We have decided to spend Christmas together as much as we can. So we have set up a time and we are going to do a video conversation so that he can watch the boys open their Christmas presents. It's not the same as him being here, but hopefully he will feel included and I know it will make me and the boys very happy too! Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it is the day before Christmas Eve! Well, actually, technically it is Christmas Eve now! I haven't wrapped the kids presents or anything! In fact, I need to get more wrapping paper and stocking stuffers! Big Fail Mom! We were going to go today but I was supposed to meet the tech guy to fix my laptop at 1130. We were up until 0600 and had to get back up at 1000, then the guy didn't call! We were meeting him at Jamba Juice and he was 2 hours late! He had mentioned having another customer before us, so I assumed he was still with them. But after 2 hours I couldn't wait any longer so I called him. He didn't answer, so I left a voicemail saying I understood he was with a customer and didn't want to bother him, but I needed a timeframe so I could know if I should just wait or head home and come back when he was ready. Well he calls me back, and I gave him the perfect opening by saying I was sure he was with a customer, but he flat out told me, nope, he went home to mess around with his computer and just forgot about our appointment. He even joked about having driven right by our meeting place on his way home! I was like props on the honesty, but I would rather he have lied to me because that really made me mad. But I just played it off like it was fine. My kids were really fussy, but I don't feel bad because they had every right to be after getting up early AND waiting around for 3 hours! Anyways, the laptop is fixed and we came home and they took a 6 hour nap! I actually fell asleep for a couple hours too. So I am counting on another long night. Aiden went right to sleep but I am sure he will wake up before long. Austin is laying down watching TV in my room, so he is at least calm and I am hoping he will sleep!
I had a really difficult conversation with a friend tonight. She sent me an instant message asking me to call her and I could tell by the things she was saying that something was very wrong, so I called her right away. She explained that while on her computer a random pop-up had come up and she was about to close it but saw that it was a video and the image in the window was extremely disturbing. It was a child pornography video. She said the girl couldn't have been more than 8-10 and looked like she was screaming and crying for her life! So she asked me how to go about reporting it. I could feel my stomach instantly churning. I have been a victim of sexual abuse, as have a couple of other people I know, and I can't imagine how my friend felt because she has a little girl! I was mortified! I gave her the information to her local FBI department and she took steps to contact them, so I am hoping that it will be removed and they will catch the bastard that posted it! As well as any other sick person that might have been watching it! I'll tell you, there is a lot of evil in this world, but nothing gets my blood boiling more than a crime against a child. Not just sexual, but abuse of any sort. I am just so glad that she took the steps to report it. A lot of people would just close it and pretend they didn't see it, or justify not reporting it. But she is taking the right steps to let the proper people know and get something done about it! I just hope they find the guy.
Anyways, I am so worn out! So I am going to get some sleep hopefully! I am reading the Vampire Academy series and I can't put it down! I have been reading it for about a week and I am already halfway through book 4! So even if Austin wont sleep I have plenty of entertainment til he dozes off! I hope everyone is having a great time getting ready for Christmas!!!!
Highlight of the Day: I secretly ordered matching bracelets for my Mother-in-Law and I about a week ago. They are silver laced with blue fabric of some sort, I cant remember what its called, and it has a patriotic ribbon charm and mine has a charm that says "Keep my Husband Safe" and hers says "Keep my Son Safe". I wanted to get one for my sister in law too, but then didnt have one :( But anyways, they got here today! I am excited about them! Mine fits perfectly and I can't wait to send her hers! She is having a rough time right now, I am sure, with the passing of her mother, so I hope I can brighten her day even just a little bit!
We have decided to spend Christmas together as much as we can. So we have set up a time and we are going to do a video conversation so that he can watch the boys open their Christmas presents. It's not the same as him being here, but hopefully he will feel included and I know it will make me and the boys very happy too! Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it is the day before Christmas Eve! Well, actually, technically it is Christmas Eve now! I haven't wrapped the kids presents or anything! In fact, I need to get more wrapping paper and stocking stuffers! Big Fail Mom! We were going to go today but I was supposed to meet the tech guy to fix my laptop at 1130. We were up until 0600 and had to get back up at 1000, then the guy didn't call! We were meeting him at Jamba Juice and he was 2 hours late! He had mentioned having another customer before us, so I assumed he was still with them. But after 2 hours I couldn't wait any longer so I called him. He didn't answer, so I left a voicemail saying I understood he was with a customer and didn't want to bother him, but I needed a timeframe so I could know if I should just wait or head home and come back when he was ready. Well he calls me back, and I gave him the perfect opening by saying I was sure he was with a customer, but he flat out told me, nope, he went home to mess around with his computer and just forgot about our appointment. He even joked about having driven right by our meeting place on his way home! I was like props on the honesty, but I would rather he have lied to me because that really made me mad. But I just played it off like it was fine. My kids were really fussy, but I don't feel bad because they had every right to be after getting up early AND waiting around for 3 hours! Anyways, the laptop is fixed and we came home and they took a 6 hour nap! I actually fell asleep for a couple hours too. So I am counting on another long night. Aiden went right to sleep but I am sure he will wake up before long. Austin is laying down watching TV in my room, so he is at least calm and I am hoping he will sleep!
I had a really difficult conversation with a friend tonight. She sent me an instant message asking me to call her and I could tell by the things she was saying that something was very wrong, so I called her right away. She explained that while on her computer a random pop-up had come up and she was about to close it but saw that it was a video and the image in the window was extremely disturbing. It was a child pornography video. She said the girl couldn't have been more than 8-10 and looked like she was screaming and crying for her life! So she asked me how to go about reporting it. I could feel my stomach instantly churning. I have been a victim of sexual abuse, as have a couple of other people I know, and I can't imagine how my friend felt because she has a little girl! I was mortified! I gave her the information to her local FBI department and she took steps to contact them, so I am hoping that it will be removed and they will catch the bastard that posted it! As well as any other sick person that might have been watching it! I'll tell you, there is a lot of evil in this world, but nothing gets my blood boiling more than a crime against a child. Not just sexual, but abuse of any sort. I am just so glad that she took the steps to report it. A lot of people would just close it and pretend they didn't see it, or justify not reporting it. But she is taking the right steps to let the proper people know and get something done about it! I just hope they find the guy.
Anyways, I am so worn out! So I am going to get some sleep hopefully! I am reading the Vampire Academy series and I can't put it down! I have been reading it for about a week and I am already halfway through book 4! So even if Austin wont sleep I have plenty of entertainment til he dozes off! I hope everyone is having a great time getting ready for Christmas!!!!
Highlight of the Day: I secretly ordered matching bracelets for my Mother-in-Law and I about a week ago. They are silver laced with blue fabric of some sort, I cant remember what its called, and it has a patriotic ribbon charm and mine has a charm that says "Keep my Husband Safe" and hers says "Keep my Son Safe". I wanted to get one for my sister in law too, but then didnt have one :( But anyways, they got here today! I am excited about them! Mine fits perfectly and I can't wait to send her hers! She is having a rough time right now, I am sure, with the passing of her mother, so I hope I can brighten her day even just a little bit!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
1 Month and 2 Days Down! 160 Days to Go!
Ok, so I am calling it 160 days to go. Granted, he has been gone over a month, but I am counting from the time he got in theater and I added travel days at the end as well. I know that is a really long title for each blog post, but if people are going to read this to see what my mindset was during the deployment, I want them to see what point I was at in the deployment when I have my ups and downs. Granted, it will be different for each person, but I am sure that to some extent, there is probably some sort of pattern. For instance, pretty much everyone I have talked to has said that the first 2 weeks are the hardest. And a lot of what I hear from some people is that the mid-point is a really great time because instead of counting how long their loved one has been gone, they can really start counting down the days til they get back. Also, I have heard that while the first couple months generally go by fairly quickly (the first couple weeks excluded), that the last couple seem to go very slow because you are anticipating their arrival. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but that seems to be what I hear from most people who have been through this process. So anyways, like I said, I just want people to see where my head was at during each stage of this deployment. Plus, it will give me a way to look back on it as well.
Anyways, what a day! I took the boys to Toys'R'Us to finish up their Christmas shopping and boy was that a nightmare! But we got some great stuff :) However, then we got home and I noticed that the monitor on my laptop is broken! Don't ask me how that happened, but LCD monitors are not covered under our warranty with Dell! I am so pissed off about that! I paid $180 for accidentals on both of our laptops! If that doesn't cover the monitor then it is pretty much useless! That is probably the number one thing to get messed up with laptops! Please believe, I will be having words with someone! This laptop is only 2 1/2 months old! Not to mention I have had to call them FOUR times because the call keeps getting dropped and every time I call I end up on hold anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour! No joke! My shortest wait time thus far has been 32 minutes! It is making me so mad! They have my call back number! If the call gets dropped you would think they would have the decency to call me back instead of making me go through the whole process again and have to explain the whole problem all over again to yet another person! I am so frustrated right now. All I have to say is these people are very lucky that my husband is deployed because if he was the one they had to deal with, it would definitely get ugly. Although, as it stands, there is still a very distinct possibility of that happening!
Anyways, all of that aside, it was still a pretty good day. Nothing beats hanging out with my little guys, even when they are fussy in public! LOL! But they got lots of good presents! I got them both the Micky Mouse clubhouse rocking chairs that look like little recliners for toddlers! I know they will love those! Austin got his bike, which he has been asking for for quite a while, I got them a 7x7 ft bounce house for the back yard, new Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD's since that is Austin's new obsession, one of those wooden train tables from wal mart that has the train tracks and everything and the drawer underneath, they each got a pillowpet, I got Austin a ton of matchbox cars since he loves those things, I got them some puzzles because they both love those, and I got aiden some good toys that will help with his fine motor skills. I am probably forgetting stuff, but its pretty obvious that they made out pretty well this year :) I guess in a way I kind of feel like I have to go a little overboard this year to make up for the fact that their Daddy isn't here. Aiden still doesn't really seem to know whats going on, but Austin has really started asking when his Daddy is going to come home in the airplane and stuff like that, so I think he is starting to understand a little more.
Well, the boys are sleeping so I am enjoying some quiet time while I can! Well trying to. I could enjoy it a little more if I wasn't wasting it on Dell.... And if I was actually making some progress, not sitting on hold again. I have been on hold the whole time I have been making this post, so that should tell you something! LOL! So, I am going to go try to enjoy the quiet time as much as I can! LOL! Good night :)
Highlight of the Day: The boys took a bubble bath this morning and made themselves into Santa Claus with the bubbles! It was HILARIOUS! <3 I love those boys so much! What ever would my life be without them?
Anyways, what a day! I took the boys to Toys'R'Us to finish up their Christmas shopping and boy was that a nightmare! But we got some great stuff :) However, then we got home and I noticed that the monitor on my laptop is broken! Don't ask me how that happened, but LCD monitors are not covered under our warranty with Dell! I am so pissed off about that! I paid $180 for accidentals on both of our laptops! If that doesn't cover the monitor then it is pretty much useless! That is probably the number one thing to get messed up with laptops! Please believe, I will be having words with someone! This laptop is only 2 1/2 months old! Not to mention I have had to call them FOUR times because the call keeps getting dropped and every time I call I end up on hold anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour! No joke! My shortest wait time thus far has been 32 minutes! It is making me so mad! They have my call back number! If the call gets dropped you would think they would have the decency to call me back instead of making me go through the whole process again and have to explain the whole problem all over again to yet another person! I am so frustrated right now. All I have to say is these people are very lucky that my husband is deployed because if he was the one they had to deal with, it would definitely get ugly. Although, as it stands, there is still a very distinct possibility of that happening!
Anyways, all of that aside, it was still a pretty good day. Nothing beats hanging out with my little guys, even when they are fussy in public! LOL! But they got lots of good presents! I got them both the Micky Mouse clubhouse rocking chairs that look like little recliners for toddlers! I know they will love those! Austin got his bike, which he has been asking for for quite a while, I got them a 7x7 ft bounce house for the back yard, new Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD's since that is Austin's new obsession, one of those wooden train tables from wal mart that has the train tracks and everything and the drawer underneath, they each got a pillowpet, I got Austin a ton of matchbox cars since he loves those things, I got them some puzzles because they both love those, and I got aiden some good toys that will help with his fine motor skills. I am probably forgetting stuff, but its pretty obvious that they made out pretty well this year :) I guess in a way I kind of feel like I have to go a little overboard this year to make up for the fact that their Daddy isn't here. Aiden still doesn't really seem to know whats going on, but Austin has really started asking when his Daddy is going to come home in the airplane and stuff like that, so I think he is starting to understand a little more.
Well, the boys are sleeping so I am enjoying some quiet time while I can! Well trying to. I could enjoy it a little more if I wasn't wasting it on Dell.... And if I was actually making some progress, not sitting on hold again. I have been on hold the whole time I have been making this post, so that should tell you something! LOL! So, I am going to go try to enjoy the quiet time as much as I can! LOL! Good night :)
Highlight of the Day: The boys took a bubble bath this morning and made themselves into Santa Claus with the bubbles! It was HILARIOUS! <3 I love those boys so much! What ever would my life be without them?
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