Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 77

   Wow, there I go slacking again! LOL! Seems like forever since I have made a post! But SOOO much has been happening! The boys are FINALLY on a good sleep schedule! They go to bed around 7 and sleep til 8! Can't beat that!  I didn't realize how much having a good schedule would make a difference! It's giving me more energy and making it easier for me to get stuff done during the day! It really has been amazing. As bad as it may sound, this deployment has actually been an amazing experience for me. I have learned a lot about myself and my marriage and I think things will be very different, one way or another, after this deployment! 
   I have stayed strong with my gym days (although I have missed a and I am down to under 135! 140 was a pretty big barrier for me for a long time, so its nice to have surpassed that, now I just have to hope it lasts. But more importantly than the number on the scale, I am finally truly happy when I look in the mirror.
    One of my greatest experiences recently has been getting to go to the Pro Bowl!!!! It was SOOO much fun! It was the first time I have been to an NFL game and it was tons of fun! I met a lot of great people and just had a good time! 
     Other than that I have been keeping pretty busy! Have several photo shoots coming up so I am looking forward to diving back in! I got my business license and all that, so it's legit now! I am officially a small business owner! There have been a lot of really good developments in my life and I finally feel like I am getting to a really good place. I am taking life one day at a time now and I am thoroughly enjoying it! I don't know why it has taken me this long to get to this point, but I am happier than I have been in a long time! It's nice to feel like I have taken charge of my own life again! My 2 little miracle babies make each day better than the last and I wouldn't trade them for the world! 
    Well today is gym day so I better get off here! I am so ready to go get a good workout today then have a nice relaxing Friday evening!

Highlight of the Day: I took the boys to a dr appt with me and we were sitting in the waiting room. My nose was itching like crazy so I just kind of rubbed it with my hand a little bit and Austin shouts "No Mommy! Don't pick your boogers, its ucky!" LOL! Talk about embarrassing! LOL!

Monday, January 17, 2011

59 Days Down! 133 To Go!

     Sorry! I know it has been a long time since I made a post and I always get a lot of people asking me when I am going to write the next one! But so much has happened in the last couple weeks! I am sure at some point in one of my posts I mentioned my friend Jenn. I have known her for as far back as I remember. We lived at Luke until I was 8 years old and Jenn's family and mine attended the same church. Her cousin, Mikah, and I were actually inseparable as kids. Jenn and I were friends too, but she was a year older than me and lets face it, when you are 6 a 5 year old is what a 15 year old is to an 18 or 19 year old! LOL! Our families have kept touch over the years and my parents actually moved back to Luke a few years ago. Anyways, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook, Jenn and I were reunited and I discovered she lives here in Hawaii. I found out that she was on the verge of being engaged to a really good man and life was really coming together for her. I am extremely honored that she actually asked me to do her engagement and wedding photos so I am VERY excited about that! When I first got here we made plans after plans after plans to get together but life always seemed to get in the way. She works two jobs and lives down in Waikiki and it just seems like we could never coordinate a time that worked for us both. But after David left we finally found time to get lunch at Red Lobster. We had a lot of fun talking and catching up and the boys loved her! So a couple weeks later we made plans again!
      After lunch we took the kids to Dave and Buster's since it was the middle of the afternoon. For those of you who don't know what Dave and Buster's is, the best way I have heard it described is Chuck E. Cheese for grown-ups! It has a lot of the same games but it also has pool tables and a bar. So we took Austin around and let him play at some of the games, then we played a few rounds of pool! The time came and the boys were getting pretty fussy, so we had to cut it short. But we were already scheming up ways we could go back out and play without the kids! So we made plans to do just that the following week! 
     We learned that we were both obsessed with Edward and the Twilight series so we decided that Monday she would stay the night with me and we would get some drinks and do a Twilight marathon, then the next day we would go get manicures and pedicures and go back into town to meet Brian, who DID actually propose, so is now her fiance, for some rounds of pool or darts. It turned out that I ended up staying with them Tuesday night. So it was great to have so much time to hang out! That was last week and already we have been planning all this stuff we want to do together, so tomorrow she is taking me surfing for my first time! I have been so excited! We are like little kids waiting for Christmas! We have been writing on each others walls counting down the time til our girls day! LOL! It is really exciting! She has also asked me to go shopping with her and help her pick out bridesmaids dresses, which is a huge honor and help her figure out what to wear for the engagement photos. 
    It is amazing how quickly our friendship has developed. It is very hard for me to really open up and let people in 100%. I have a lot of trust issues and even with my closest friends I still tend to keep them at arm's length. But it has been different with us. I would say its like we have known each other our whole lives, but we kind of But it's like we have been close friends our whole lives. We have even said we felt like we could be sisters. I have not had that many really really close friends, again the major trust issues, but its like there is no walls with her. We can talk about anything and we have been comfortable to do that. She is like my friend soul You know when you meet that right man or woman and all of a sudden you fill like this huge void in your life is suddenly filled? It's exactly like that. We have hung out a total of three times and yetI can't imagine my life without her now! She keeps telling me that I make Hawaii bearable, which I really feel the same way. Sure Hawaii is nice, but I haven't really been enjoying it since David left. When he was here we went out and did things, but since he has been gone I sit at home all the time. And going out with her last week we had so much fun, and now she is about to introduce me to surfing which is something I never actually thought I would try because I am kind of But I am actually really looking forward to it now! So, anyways, I guess the point to all of this is that I am really grateful to have her back in my life!
      Anyways, that is a lot of what has filled the last couple weeks. That and still going to the gym as often as I can! I am not seeing the difference as much because I am with myself every day, but I notice the difference with my clothes. I had to go buy a new bathing suit because mine was too big and I have had to go buy some new clothes. Right before David left when we were renewing our vows I went to victoria secret and they had this really cute tank that I liked, and mind you, even after having kids I have never been big. I have been bigger than I am comfortable with because I have always been ridiculously skinny, probably sickly looking before I had kids. I was 5'9 and 120. I am now 140. So I am right dead in the center of my "healthy" weight range for my age and height and all that. Anyways, the tank top was large and it was still extremely tight! Talk about a blow to the ego! Well anyways the other day I was walking by and saw these sweatpants and t-shirt I just HAD to have! They were pink and it was like really comfy pajamas. I dont know if I thought of me first or Jenn because we are both obsessed with pink (don't get me wrong, neither of us are ditzy like we just stepped out of Legally Blonde or anything, but it has been both of our favorite colors since we were kids!). Anyways, so I got us matching sets for our next sleepover, so i am going to surprise her with them tomorrow. But I was astounded when had to get small pants and a small t-shirt! So that DEFINITELY made me feel good! I am really starting to see the difference now when I look in the mirror and it feels good to know that my hard work is paying off! I am really hoping that when David steps off the plane he will be truly amazed with the transformation I am making, not only externally but internally as well. I really feel like I am on an awesome journey right now. And while I miss my husband like crazy, I am not taking a moment of this time for granted. When David gets back I know that we will have to figure out a lot of things as a couple, so I want to make sure I know who I am as an individual so that I know what I really can contribute more to this marriage and what more I need from it in return and what things I am not willing to accept anymore as well. And he has actually been really supportive and it seems very receptive as well! So I am excited to see the path our marriage will take when he gets back. I really do hope and believe it will be a turn for the better!
      Well it's almost 3 and Austin is awake again so I am going to try to get him back to sleep so I can get some sleep before my big day! The sooner I get to sleep the sooner I will wake up and it will be time to go!! YAY!!!!

Highlight of the Day: I had a GREAT workout at the gym today and I ran a mile nonstop! Which I haven't done in a while...mostly cuz I hate,  but it still felt great!        

Monday, January 3, 2011

45 Down! 157 To Go....

     Today was a gym day and, man, was I ready for it! With all the holidays I haven't gotten to go as much lately. I only went 2 days last week, so I hadn't been since Wednesday so I was definitely ready today. Naturally, since it was right after the holidays, everyone and their brother was there working off Christmas dinner! LOL! I think PT tests are coming up soon too, so people were probably getting ready for that. So there was a lot of waiting around for machines and stuff. But I got an awesome workout so can't beat that :)
    The last couple days have been pretty rough. I am still doing ok with the deployment and all that, and David and I get to talk every day, but I am at that point where I am really starting to feel the loneliness set in. I have been keeping so busy lately, and been so exhausted the rest of the time, that I haven't had much time to think about it. But Austin has been sleeping a little better. Or at least going to bed early and sleeping for a few hours before he wakes up and keeps me awake til 8 or 9 the next Even just that extra 2 hours of sleep before hand is so much help, even if I only get 5 hours of sleep when we go to bed for good. But with that, and the fact that things actually slowed down for us around the holidays, I'm not really going day to day on auto pilot anymore. So it has been a rough few days because I am really starting to feel things instead of going through it mindlessly. Things are starting to pick back up again now that the holidays have passed, so I am hoping that will kind of block the tough stuff out again. 
     Anyways, I am watching the Bachelor while the kids are playing well, then taking them upstairs for bed! Tomorrow we are going to have lunch with my friend Jenny, so I am looking forward to that :) Then Wednesday is gym day again YAY!!!!!

Highlight of the day: Today is my Dad's birthday so  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!! I LOVE YOU!