Friday, December 24, 2010

1 Month 6 Days Down! 157 Days to Go!

     Ok, so I changed the date I am counting down to again! LOL! I am counting down til May 31st. He should be home sooner than that, but I would rather get him home with 5 days left on my countdown calendar than get to day 1 and realize I still have a week to go. Anyways, some people seem to think that the whole countdown thing is just torturing myself, but honestly, I have found it very comforting. Every day that I get through is one day closer to getting my husband home. And it's nice to look at this posts title and realize it wasn't that long ago I was counting days, then it was weeks, and now I am into months! That's awesome to me! David and I are talking less and less, which is hard. We were talking 2-3 times a day, with 1-2 quick conversations and 1 long one, but things have gotten so crazy for him and he is so tired, that now we are down to one conversation a day and it's usually no more than 15-20 minutes. It gets really hard sometimes. I feel myself start to get frustrated that he can't stay awake 5 or 10 more minutes to talk to me, but I have to remind myself, he is not purposely not talking to me; he is tired and he really does need the rest. It's not always easy, but I am proud of myself because I have been able to keep my feelings in check and make sure to always put his needs first. Those of you that know me know that that is very hard for me. Not putting his needs first, of course, that is not hard, but keeping my mouth shut about how I am feeling is. Even though I am not upset with him, I find myself wanting to complain about the fact that we don't talk much. Not to blame him, just to express my feelings about the situation itself. But then I have to remind myself that while he is my best friend and the person I talk to about everything, for this time, I have to be his best friend and not burden him with the silly little things that are bothering me. And all in all, it's really not that bad. I realize how lucky I am for getting to talk to him every day, so honestly, I wouldn't ask for anything more. 
    We have decided to spend Christmas together as much as we can. So we have set up a time and we are going to do a video conversation so that he can watch the boys open their Christmas presents. It's not the same as him being here, but hopefully he will feel included and I know it will make me and the boys very happy too! Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it is the day before Christmas Eve! Well, actually, technically it is Christmas Eve now! I haven't wrapped the kids presents or anything! In fact, I need to get more wrapping paper and stocking stuffers! Big Fail Mom! We were going to go today but I was supposed to meet the tech guy to fix my laptop at 1130. We were up until 0600 and had to get back up at 1000, then the guy didn't call! We were meeting him at Jamba Juice and he was 2 hours late! He had mentioned having another customer before us, so I assumed he was still with them. But after 2 hours I couldn't wait any longer so I called him. He didn't answer, so I left a voicemail saying I understood he was with a customer and didn't want to bother him, but I needed a timeframe so I could know if I should just wait or head home and come back when he was ready. Well he calls me back, and I gave him the perfect opening by saying I was sure he was with a customer, but he flat out told me, nope, he went home to mess around with his computer and just forgot about our appointment. He even joked about having driven right by our meeting place on his way home! I was like props on the honesty, but I would rather he have lied to me because that really made me mad. But I just played it off like it was fine. My kids were really fussy, but I don't feel bad because they had every right to be after getting up early AND waiting around for 3 hours! Anyways, the laptop is fixed and we came home and they took a 6 hour nap! I actually fell asleep for a couple hours too. So I am counting on another long night. Aiden went right to sleep but I am sure he will wake up before long. Austin is laying down watching TV in my room, so he is at least calm and I am hoping he will sleep! 
   I had a really difficult conversation with a friend tonight. She sent me an instant message asking me to call her and I could tell by the things she was saying that something was very wrong, so I called her right away. She explained that while on her computer a random pop-up had come up and she was about to close it but saw that it was a video and the image in the window was extremely disturbing. It was a child pornography video. She said the girl couldn't have been more than 8-10 and looked like she was screaming and crying for her life! So she asked me how to go about reporting it. I could feel my stomach instantly churning. I have been a victim of sexual abuse, as have a couple of other people I know, and I can't imagine how my friend felt because she has a little girl! I was mortified! I gave her the information to her local FBI department and she took steps to contact them, so I am hoping that it will be removed and they will catch the bastard that posted it! As well as any other sick person that might have been watching it! I'll tell you, there is a lot of evil in this world, but nothing gets my blood boiling more than a crime against a child. Not just sexual, but abuse of any sort. I am just so glad that she took the steps to report it. A lot of people would just close it and pretend they didn't see it, or justify not reporting it. But she is taking the right steps to let the proper people know and get something done about it! I just hope they find the guy. 
    Anyways, I am so worn out! So I am going to get some sleep hopefully! I am reading the Vampire Academy series and I can't put it down! I have been reading it for about a week and I am already halfway through book 4! So even if Austin wont sleep I have plenty of entertainment til he dozes off! I hope everyone is having a great time getting ready for Christmas!!!! 

Highlight of the Day: I secretly ordered matching bracelets for my Mother-in-Law and I about a week ago. They are silver laced with blue fabric of some sort, I cant remember what its called, and it has a patriotic ribbon charm and mine has a charm that says "Keep my Husband Safe" and hers says "Keep my Son Safe". I wanted to get one for my sister in law too, but then didnt have one :( But anyways, they got here today! I am excited about them! Mine fits perfectly and I can't wait to send her hers! She is having a rough time right now, I am sure, with the passing of her mother, so I hope I can brighten her day even just a little bit!

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