Down to about 7 days until my husband is home! I am so excited and so amazed at how quickly the last 2 weeks seem to have passed. The first week was pure torture, but the last two, and especially this one seems to be flying right on by. I feel bad because we skipped playgroup for the first time this morning. Austin had a very rough night last night so we were up pretty late. When my alarm went of this morning, I looked over at him sleeping and I just didn't have the heart to wake him. Besides, on days that he is super tired at playgroup, it he ends up being fussy and then it is no fun for anyone. So, while I missed having that time today, it was probably for the best.
Other than that, I had a dr appt at Tripler today, for the second day in a row, and both days I have found parking spots immediately, which was nice. Of course, I had to park at the very bottom of the parking lot, but I would rather walk a little ways than drive around for 20 minutes looking for a better spot. And after my 4th time to this particular dr, I can finally say I found my way without getting lost or needing directions! I never thought I would see the day that would happen! Of course, then finding the pharmacy was a whole different story! LOL!
The past couple of days David and I have started really talking about some things. One thing that we know needs work in our marriage is our communication. We communicate and interpret things in very different ways and sometimes it causes us to butt heads. We have found that to be particularly challenging this separation. When he has gone places in the past, we have always been very in sync and our communication was spot on, in fact, at times, it was better than it is when we are standing face to face. I don't know what has been different this time, but this deployment will be the longest separation we have faced, aside from when we first got married. Communication is going to be key in making this as smooth as possible for both of us. When emails and phone calls are the only connection that you have to the love of your life, the last thing you want to do is spend the time on the phone or internet bickering about stupid things that really don't even matter in the grand scheme of things. So we have made the decision to work on our communication skills together to make sure that we both feel like we can approach the other and know that we will be heard and respected.
We faced our first real step in that today and I was very proud and relieved that we did. I needed to talk to him about something but was afraid to because I was worried about how he would react. I knew it was a controversial issue for us, and I was worried it would set him off and start a fight. So I began the conversation by explaining that I did not want to fight and I was not trying to be argumentative and that if we were going to start learning to communicate now was the time. I explained that he may not necessarily like what I have to say, but part of good communication in a marriage is listening and respecting your partner even if you don't agree. All that being said, he agreed to hear me out, so I said what I needed to say, he listened until I was finished and responded in a calm manner. We did disagree, and we did argue in the sense that I said something, he countered it, I countered that, and so on. But neither of us raised our voices or got upset, we were able to go all the way through the conversation without either of us feeling like we were not being heard or we were being disrespected. And overall it was a HUGE step in the right direction. For the first time in a long time I did not feel like he just tuned me out as soon as I started to say something he didn't like. And hopefully he felt that I respected his side as well. Now if we can just continue that in that direction in the future! For any of you that have been through a deployment or long separation, any advice on how to keep good communication between us would be greatly appreciated!
Anyways, that was about it for today. Tomorrow we don't really have anything going on, but yet again, Austin and I are getting to bed late so I am sure we will end up sleeping in again. I have to find a way to get us back on a good schedule! The highlight of my day was definitely that conversation with David. For the first time in a long time I really felt like he was listening to me and respecting me as an equal, not looking down on me in any way, and that meant a lot to me. I hope that he knows that, and I hope that we can continue to improve our communication because 90% of our fights, if not all of them, could probably be contributed to lack of communication, or misunderstandings due to poor communication or the difference in our methods of communication. So once we are on the same page with that, I can almost guarantee it will eliminate most of the problems we have, because beyond that, we have an amazing relationship! Well, I am going to go make Austin lay down because he keeps getting up and playing! Wish me luck because I am fairly certain that I still have a long night ahead of me! Goodnight!