Sunday, October 17, 2010

Our First Goodbye

     Today pretty much felt like any other day for the first half or so. We got up, but David still had to get some packing done, so he worked on that. We had a few errands to run, grabbed some lunch at the BX then came home and got ready to head to the airport. Apparently the rules have changed so I was not able to get a gate pass since this trip wasn't actually his deployment trip so we just hung out in baggage claim. Surprisingly the airport was virtually empty so we were by ourselves the whole time. The boys got a little tired and fussy so he walked around pushing them in the stroller until Aiden fell asleep, then Austin got up and played in the chairs. Then when it was time for David to go we walked him up to security and said our goodbye's and watched him walk away waving and blowing kisses until we couldn't see him anymore. Then we headed home.
     The boys pretty much went right to sleep when we got home, but David's flight left at 4, which was around when we got home, so they slept until about 6. When they woke up Austin looked around for his Daddy then went to wait by the window for him. So I figured instead of trying to explain it to him it would be easier to just distract him so we went to the BX and NEX and we got crayons, 3 new coloring books so we can color pictures to send to Daddy, some construction paper, a ruler, and some glue so we can make a countdown chain to count the days til Daddy gets home, and a new night night book that was about Winnie the Pooh and had a bunch of short stories. Then we had Taco Bell for dinner, followed by bath time, teeth brushing and bed! So, all things considered, it wasn't a terrible day.
     Even though David has never been deployed, we have had more than our fair share of airport scenes, especially when we were both still active duty and stationed in two different places. Every single time there have been tears and it has been awful. Today, it definitely was not easy to watch him leave, but I didn't even get the urge to cry. Maybe it is because I know that he will only be gone a few weeks. Maybe I am finally old enough and mature enough to realize that it is not the end of the world if I am not with him every minute of every day. I don't know what it is, but there was definitely something very different about this time. I am sure that the next time won't be nearly as easy because that will be the real deal. Maybe that is a big part of it too. Maybe the looming threat of the deployment, where we know he will be gone for at least 6 1/2 months (and let's not kid ourselves, no one ever comes home on time so it will probably be longer) has kind of put everything into perspective and 3 weeks seems like nothing compared to that. That is probably a big part of it. 
     I am starting to have to make some serious decisions too. One of the biggest ones is am I going to go home during this deployment for a little while. When he went to Korea for a month right after Aiden was born I went home for 2 weeks of it and got to see my grandparents that whole side of my family, plus I got to see my parents too, and everyone got to see the kids, and Aiden was the new baby at the time, so it was great to see everyone. I would love to go home but there are 2 serious things to consider. One is the expense. 3 plane tickets will not come cheap. Also, there is the fact that I would have to fly alone with 2 toddlers. I would have to figure out how to get our bags and their carseats, plus I would be bringing the stroller. That would be a lot of work and I would have to do it alone both ways. Plus it is at least a 6 hour flight. And again, the money part. So it is not an easy decision to make. Especially because I know that I will probably be perfectly fine here by myself with the kids. It's not like I "need" to go home because I can't handle it all on my own ya know? It would just be nice. If we were still in Cali it would be a no brainer. 12 hours in the car with 2 kids is way preferable to 6 hours on a plane! At least in the car I am the only one that has to hear it if they are screaming. In a plane everyone else has to hear it. Plus driving we could just stop whenever we needed and grab food or a hotel room or whatever. I guess we will just have to see what happens as the time draws closer. 
      Well, I just got to talk to David, he is at his first layover in Chicago. He said that he was not able to get any sleep on his flight, but he downloaded some movies on his ipod before he left, so at least he had some entertainment. He watched Book of Eli, but said it wasn't very good. I was just waiting up for that call from him so on that note I am heading to bed! It is 1:20 in the morning and I am exhausted! Hope the boys sleep in a bit!

Highlight of the Day: Definitely had to be waking up next to my husband, even though it was the last time for a few weeks. Every day that I wake up to him and my boys I know that my life is exactly as it should be <3   


  1. Even though you didn't cry, I certainly cried reading this. = )

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  3. I am a total idiot and it won't let me see your profile pic except for the small thumbnail and I posted a comment a second ago and thought you were Jennifer for some reason. Then I looked closer and realized I could see you Bren. Sorry! Anyways, thank you for reading it. I was saying that it sometimes feels weird because it is almost like my diary that I am posting for everyone to read, but at the same time, it makes me feel less alone. I know I am in Hawaii and its all beautiful and everything, but in this situation it is not easy to be stuck on an island with no family anywhere nearby, and we havent been here long enough to make a lot of friends. I do have some really great ones, don't get me wrong, but it's not quite home yet, so it still feels pretty lonely. So it is comforting to know that even though I don't have many people here, I do still have a support system. So thank you for reminding me of that :)